10 REASONS TO BE SERIOUS Serbian
1. You are not a Croat.2. Kosarkaska reprezentacija.3. You can choose between several war criminals in the elections.4. You can enjoy the optimistic news on state television, especially if you are watching over satellites abroad.5. You can lead a 600-year-old battle against the Turks and their home traitors, be convinced that this is happening now and completely not right.6. You can always go to Greece and not scare yourself to Cyprus.7. The rosy and the shimmer.8. You can drink almonds and eat a barbecue even if you are under sanctions.9. You are the only European country bombed by NATO.10. From time to time you can fly to The Hague to another account.
10 THE REASON IS TO BE CROATIA
1. You are not a Serb.2. Football team.3. You can pretend that your language is completely different from the Serbian, although it is not.4. Dubrovnik.5. You can dream about Independent Croatia.6. From time to time, you can sing "Danke, Danke, Deutschland" and continue to dream about Independent Croatia.7. You have a 1000-year culture that nobody heard.8. You have a democratically elected president who is not ashamed of being a Croat.9. The glorious past in the Second World War.10. You have a 1000-year culture ...
10 THE REASON IS TO BE BOSANAC
1. You can get asylum anywhere except in Serbia.2. You can pretend your state exists.3. Kebab.4. You can pretend that Sarajevo is a European metropolis, although it is not.5. Big Kebab.6. You can visit Francois Miteran, Bernard Henri, Suzan Sontag and Bill Clinton and there is no difference.7. Free travel tour in any Muslim country.8. You are being bombarded by a psychiatrist.9. You can expose your flag to the UN or anywhere else.10. Foreigners give you money and do not ask questions.
10 THE REASON IS TO BE SLOVENIAN
1. You can speak beautiful Slovenian language and know that nobody cares about it except for you.2. You can feel superior to all former Yugoslavs.3. You can drink after work.4. You can pretend to live on the "sunny side of the Alps" although you know it's not sunny.5. You can pretend to be good as a German, even if you secretly enjoy the fact that you are a Slovenian.6. Good relations with Italy and Austria.7. You can afford to be Jugo-Nostalgic.8. You can marry Slovenka and have Slovene children who speak Slovenian.9. You do not have to be embarrassed when you go somewhere.10. Nobody disturbs you because nobody cares.
10 REASON FOR MAKEDONAC
1. You can call yourself a Macedonian and not be killed by a Bulgarian, a Greek, a Serb or an Albanian.2. Sweet tomatoes, watermelons and tobacco.3. You can pretend to be the descendant of Alexander the Great and fuck the Greeks.4. You can be sad when listening to folk music.5. Good relations with neighbors, especially Greeks and Albanians.6. American soldiers on your territory.7. You must call your country the Former Yugoslav Republic of Macedonia.8. Twice tomatoes, watermelons and tobacco.9. You can pretend your language is not Bulgarian.10. Everyone is interested in the stability of the country except your neighbors.
10 THE REASON IS TO BE A MONTENEGRIN
1. You can be proud of your heroic past and not be 500 years under the Turks.2. You can sing epic poems about your heroic past and not be 500 years under the Turks.3. You can think of Russia as your mother, even though Russia does not know that you are her son.4. You can combine orthodoxy with Stalinism for the love of Russia and think you are better and more progressive than the Serbs.5. Cheese, fried lamb and grapes.6. You must kill at least one person for revenge and defend your cast.7. If you are a woman, you can kill your husband and everyone will know why you did it.8. You can smoke cigarettes from Italy and live like a king.9. You do not have to work even when you need to.10. You do not have to work ...
10 THE REASON IS TO BE YUGOSLAV
1. You can be proud that you are neither a Serb, nor a Croat, nor a Slovenac, nor a Bosniak, nor a Macedonian, nor a Montenegrin, nor an Albanian, although you are one of them.
2. You do not have to feel bad because of Jugo-nostalgia.
3. You can have a husband / wife from any part of Yugoslavia and have the feeling that the country did not fall apart, especially if you are abroad.
4. You can listen to Serbian, Croatian, Bosnian, Slovenian, Macedonian, Montenegrin, even Albanian music and think it's OK.
5. You do not have to be embarrassed by your Tito's past.
6. You can sing partisan songs from the Second World War and rock'n'roll from the 80's.
7. You can spit on nationalists.
8. You can be explored by foreign sociologists interested in your identity.
9. You may be invited to speak about Yugoslavia at conferences abroad.
10. You are a great candidate for the Soros scholarship.
1. You are not a Croat.2. Kosarkaska reprezentacija.3. You can choose between several war criminals in the elections.4. You can enjoy the optimistic news on state television, especially if you are watching over satellites abroad.5. You can lead a 600-year-old battle against the Turks and their home traitors, be convinced that this is happening now and completely not right.6. You can always go to Greece and not scare yourself to Cyprus.7. The rosy and the shimmer.8. You can drink almonds and eat a barbecue even if you are under sanctions.9. You are the only European country bombed by NATO.10. From time to time you can fly to The Hague to another account.
10 THE REASON IS TO BE CROATIA
1. You are not a Serb.2. Football team.3. You can pretend that your language is completely different from the Serbian, although it is not.4. Dubrovnik.5. You can dream about Independent Croatia.6. From time to time, you can sing "Danke, Danke, Deutschland" and continue to dream about Independent Croatia.7. You have a 1000-year culture that nobody heard.8. You have a democratically elected president who is not ashamed of being a Croat.9. The glorious past in the Second World War.10. You have a 1000-year culture ...
10 THE REASON IS TO BE BOSANAC
1. You can get asylum anywhere except in Serbia.2. You can pretend your state exists.3. Kebab.4. You can pretend that Sarajevo is a European metropolis, although it is not.5. Big Kebab.6. You can visit Francois Miteran, Bernard Henri, Suzan Sontag and Bill Clinton and there is no difference.7. Free travel tour in any Muslim country.8. You are being bombarded by a psychiatrist.9. You can expose your flag to the UN or anywhere else.10. Foreigners give you money and do not ask questions.
10 THE REASON IS TO BE SLOVENIAN
1. You can speak beautiful Slovenian language and know that nobody cares about it except for you.2. You can feel superior to all former Yugoslavs.3. You can drink after work.4. You can pretend to live on the "sunny side of the Alps" although you know it's not sunny.5. You can pretend to be good as a German, even if you secretly enjoy the fact that you are a Slovenian.6. Good relations with Italy and Austria.7. You can afford to be Jugo-Nostalgic.8. You can marry Slovenka and have Slovene children who speak Slovenian.9. You do not have to be embarrassed when you go somewhere.10. Nobody disturbs you because nobody cares.
10 REASON FOR MAKEDONAC
1. You can call yourself a Macedonian and not be killed by a Bulgarian, a Greek, a Serb or an Albanian.2. Sweet tomatoes, watermelons and tobacco.3. You can pretend to be the descendant of Alexander the Great and fuck the Greeks.4. You can be sad when listening to folk music.5. Good relations with neighbors, especially Greeks and Albanians.6. American soldiers on your territory.7. You must call your country the Former Yugoslav Republic of Macedonia.8. Twice tomatoes, watermelons and tobacco.9. You can pretend your language is not Bulgarian.10. Everyone is interested in the stability of the country except your neighbors.
10 THE REASON IS TO BE A MONTENEGRIN
1. You can be proud of your heroic past and not be 500 years under the Turks.2. You can sing epic poems about your heroic past and not be 500 years under the Turks.3. You can think of Russia as your mother, even though Russia does not know that you are her son.4. You can combine orthodoxy with Stalinism for the love of Russia and think you are better and more progressive than the Serbs.5. Cheese, fried lamb and grapes.6. You must kill at least one person for revenge and defend your cast.7. If you are a woman, you can kill your husband and everyone will know why you did it.8. You can smoke cigarettes from Italy and live like a king.9. You do not have to work even when you need to.10. You do not have to work ...
10 THE REASON IS TO BE YUGOSLAV
1. You can be proud that you are neither a Serb, nor a Croat, nor a Slovenac, nor a Bosniak, nor a Macedonian, nor a Montenegrin, nor an Albanian, although you are one of them.
2. You do not have to feel bad because of Jugo-nostalgia.
3. You can have a husband / wife from any part of Yugoslavia and have the feeling that the country did not fall apart, especially if you are abroad.
4. You can listen to Serbian, Croatian, Bosnian, Slovenian, Macedonian, Montenegrin, even Albanian music and think it's OK.
5. You do not have to be embarrassed by your Tito's past.
6. You can sing partisan songs from the Second World War and rock'n'roll from the 80's.
7. You can spit on nationalists.
8. You can be explored by foreign sociologists interested in your identity.
9. You may be invited to speak about Yugoslavia at conferences abroad.
10. You are a great candidate for the Soros scholarship.
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